A marriage is a long term relationship between two parties and a wedding
on the other hand is the ceremony of getting married.
For instance, I am inviting you to my wedding is
correct and you are invited to my marriage is
wrong. Their marriage was a tragedy simply means that the
couple were probably not happy in their lives together after their wedding.
On the other hand, their wedding was a disaster means that something happened during the wedding and the ceremony did not go as planned. However, the couple can still go on to have a long and happy marriage even after a disastrous wedding ceremony.
Marriage is a huge step and should not be mistaken
for the wedding in any case. As much as we would want to spend the day with our
friends and family and as a result make it huge! Is it really necessary to have
a big fancy wedding?
The question here is, is it really compulsory? Is it a must? Does it determine the success of a marriage on how elaborated a wedding is? You may be wondering what the essence of this post is, well I had to share this because recently I was having a conversation with a friend of mine and I asked her ‘any particular reason why she wasn't yet married to her long term partner’. Her response was that it must be massive because she wasn't just going to have a small or quiet wedding and that really got thinking and hence this post.
Don't get me wrong there is nothing wrong having a big wedding because I did the same even though it wasn't our idea, left for us we actually wanted a registry with few friends and family rather than having the huge Nigerian wedding ceremony. Honestly that would have saved us a lot of money and made it even more intimate on that special day.
Just to make it clear I am not against a big fancy wedding and the mere fact if you have a big or small wedding doesn't determine the success of your marriage. However, knowing why you want to get married should be taken into serious consideration and should not be based exclusively on because you want a huge luxurious wedding or you want your friends to wear a colourful ashoebi, or the best decor there is and possibly want to be featured on bella naija and so on......for me emphasis should be more on the journey ahead of you and your partner.
Point that should be taken ahead when planning a huge typical ceremonial wedding!
1. How deep is your pocket, bearing in mind don't compare yourself with e.g Ngozi who married a senators daughter or a rich celebrity. Cut your coat according to your size.
2. How much savings have you got? Remember to plan according to your budget and do not go over it in order not to affect your finances after the wedding. Basically don't go broke after the wedding. This is Common and it's not wise at all
3. Don't spend your life's saving on your wedding; remember if you plan to have kids etc along the way! Please be wise
4. Your wedding ceremony must not be bigger than Chioma's wedding! Remember Chioma married a footballer that can afford a big wedding and you are a banker. No need for it!
These are just few tips, if you believe you obviously must have a big wedding think on these things. Also no matter how small a wedding ceremony is, the ultimate target is that you are getting married to your life-partner in this journey of life and that is what counts the most!
Do not let the society at large and social media put so much pressure on you and determine what type of wedding you should have!
P.S names used on my tips were just for illustration purposes!
The question here is, is it really compulsory? Is it a must? Does it determine the success of a marriage on how elaborated a wedding is? You may be wondering what the essence of this post is, well I had to share this because recently I was having a conversation with a friend of mine and I asked her ‘any particular reason why she wasn't yet married to her long term partner’. Her response was that it must be massive because she wasn't just going to have a small or quiet wedding and that really got thinking and hence this post.
Don't get me wrong there is nothing wrong having a big wedding because I did the same even though it wasn't our idea, left for us we actually wanted a registry with few friends and family rather than having the huge Nigerian wedding ceremony. Honestly that would have saved us a lot of money and made it even more intimate on that special day.
Just to make it clear I am not against a big fancy wedding and the mere fact if you have a big or small wedding doesn't determine the success of your marriage. However, knowing why you want to get married should be taken into serious consideration and should not be based exclusively on because you want a huge luxurious wedding or you want your friends to wear a colourful ashoebi, or the best decor there is and possibly want to be featured on bella naija and so on......for me emphasis should be more on the journey ahead of you and your partner.
Point that should be taken ahead when planning a huge typical ceremonial wedding!
1. How deep is your pocket, bearing in mind don't compare yourself with e.g Ngozi who married a senators daughter or a rich celebrity. Cut your coat according to your size.
2. How much savings have you got? Remember to plan according to your budget and do not go over it in order not to affect your finances after the wedding. Basically don't go broke after the wedding. This is Common and it's not wise at all
3. Don't spend your life's saving on your wedding; remember if you plan to have kids etc along the way! Please be wise
4. Your wedding ceremony must not be bigger than Chioma's wedding! Remember Chioma married a footballer that can afford a big wedding and you are a banker. No need for it!
These are just few tips, if you believe you obviously must have a big wedding think on these things. Also no matter how small a wedding ceremony is, the ultimate target is that you are getting married to your life-partner in this journey of life and that is what counts the most!
Do not let the society at large and social media put so much pressure on you and determine what type of wedding you should have!
P.S names used on my tips were just for illustration purposes!
Share your comments and let me know what your views
are, will you rather have a big wedding at all cost no matter your
circumstances?
Very good article. I don't really understand the clamour for a big wedding. You can spend N100m on a wedding and people will still have something to complain about. I have been to very very lavish weddings and many of the guests just criticised throughout so you will never please ppl. Left to me I would prefer a wedding where all those in attendance know and care about us and are not just coming as it is this week's society event.
ReplyDeleteI know many times wedding preparations are out of the couples control and it is the parents that want to go overboard and that is fine as it is a joyous celebration. So if you want to do it big go ahead, but don't say ur not getting married because u can't afford an enormous show. That sounds like your not ready for marriage and the responsibility that comes with it.
For me a wedding is about u, ur partner and ur families. That is what comes first.pay attention to detail and elements that make ur day special for u both and the ppl that matter to you. Nothing else matters
Very true! Like I previously said the ultimate target is you are starting a journey with your life partner and that should be your core focus. As previously stated, having a lavish wedding is okay as long as you are buoyant for it and the couple is doing it based on agreement and solely because it will add to their joy on their big day. Also parents can very pushy too I experience a bit of that. Mine wanted a big wedding! The idea is both parties keeping a balance and be happy about the choice of wedding and staying in your budget and cutting your coat according to your size!
DeleteThis is amazing post. I sometimes feel social media is to blame. A lot of people trying to out do each other when it comes to wedding ceremony. As for me as much I would love to have a very big wedding I will rather keep it simple and small of maybe 40 people and still manage to make it classy. Sometimes small can be perfect too. Also I will not spend more than my budget. Thanks al for this.
ReplyDeleteThat is a very good decision Tinu. Having a target helps you plan well in your budget and yes small can be perfect with good planning.
ReplyDelete