Love is a choice. When we make that choice then it's easy to love.
Let’s look at some foundational scriptures.
Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wrong. (1 Corinthians 13:4, 5 NLT)
Ephesians 4: 27 “Do not give the devil a foot hold”
God admonishes us not to give the devil a foothold in any area of our lives and more so in our marriage. The statistics for divorce in Christian marriage is very embarrassing. Over 50 % divorce rate! Divorce is almost now becoming an epidemic in our faith.
Watch and Flee from inconsistencies.
Let your Yes be yes and your no be no. Never say yes to your Spouse when you mean no. Do not be inconsistent with your original agreement with your spouse without communicating the change. E.g. even something as easy as changing travelling plans after work should be communicated to your spouse before embarking on any change. Consult each other about any changes, otherwise it could be a seed that has potential to breed suspicion.
Watch your Finances
1 Peter 3: 7 says we are heirs together of the graces of life.
Find out who in the family is more prudent with finances than the other, that person can have stronger control over the family joint finances. Have regular family business meetings at least once a quarter to discuss family finances, even where the family does not hold joint accounts. I do not feel it is right to impose joint accounts on families. Each family should discuss how they feel they wish to operate. They need to do only what they feel ready for, otherwise, we will create more problems than solve them.
Let’s look at some foundational scriptures.
Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wrong. (1 Corinthians 13:4, 5 NLT)
Ephesians 4: 27 “Do not give the devil a foot hold”
God admonishes us not to give the devil a foothold in any area of our lives and more so in our marriage. The statistics for divorce in Christian marriage is very embarrassing. Over 50 % divorce rate! Divorce is almost now becoming an epidemic in our faith.
Watch and Flee from inconsistencies.
Let your Yes be yes and your no be no. Never say yes to your Spouse when you mean no. Do not be inconsistent with your original agreement with your spouse without communicating the change. E.g. even something as easy as changing travelling plans after work should be communicated to your spouse before embarking on any change. Consult each other about any changes, otherwise it could be a seed that has potential to breed suspicion.
Watch your Finances
1 Peter 3: 7 says we are heirs together of the graces of life.
Find out who in the family is more prudent with finances than the other, that person can have stronger control over the family joint finances. Have regular family business meetings at least once a quarter to discuss family finances, even where the family does not hold joint accounts. I do not feel it is right to impose joint accounts on families. Each family should discuss how they feel they wish to operate. They need to do only what they feel ready for, otherwise, we will create more problems than solve them.
Do not send funds to family without the other knowing.
Agree on money saving techniques together at family business meetings.
Agree on investments together at family business meetings.
Decide to spend less on consumables together at family business meetings.
Watch your Sex Life
1 Corinthians 7: 1-5
The issue of long abstinence from sex during fasting is to be discussed together and consent of your Spouse obtained.
Pornography and pornographic acts are no no in a Christian marriage. Sorry I come from the Old time religion. That old time religion is still good enough for me.
Over working affects your sex life.
Be considerate of one another.
I plead with the Men to help with house chores as well so as to free up the women from always being tired.
Balance sexual needs and desires to pacify the one who wants it more and the one who wants it less.
Watch the Other man/ the other woman
Proverbs 6: 20-29 (Warning against adultery) Proverbs 7: 5- end (Warning against adulteress)
Do not receive undue compliments from the opposite sex.
Ensure handshakes are not too long.
There is a way to hug the opposite sex.
Who is your confidant? Your spouse or another?
Infidelity is not necessarily sexual! We sometimes think it is only sexual. It is rather a heart thing and that's why Jesus said to flee!
Especially in these days of smart phones etc.
Be careful of couples who are always holding too tight to their phones and iPads!
Watch your Anger management
Anger is a normal human reaction if it is well channelled.
Be angry and sin not. How can I be angry and sin not? Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behaviour. Instead, be kind to each other, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you. (Ephesians 4:31, 32 NLT)
But now is the time to get rid of anger, rage, malicious behaviour, slander, and dirty language. (Colossians 3:8 NLT)Do not say what you will later regret. It can be used against you later.
Be considerate of one another.
I plead with the Men to help with house chores as well so as to free up the women from always being tired.
Balance sexual needs and desires to pacify the one who wants it more and the one who wants it less.
Watch the Other man/ the other woman
Proverbs 6: 20-29 (Warning against adultery) Proverbs 7: 5- end (Warning against adulteress)
Do not receive undue compliments from the opposite sex.
Ensure handshakes are not too long.
There is a way to hug the opposite sex.
Who is your confidant? Your spouse or another?
Infidelity is not necessarily sexual! We sometimes think it is only sexual. It is rather a heart thing and that's why Jesus said to flee!
Especially in these days of smart phones etc.
Be careful of couples who are always holding too tight to their phones and iPads!
Watch your Anger management
Anger is a normal human reaction if it is well channelled.
Be angry and sin not. How can I be angry and sin not? Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behaviour. Instead, be kind to each other, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you. (Ephesians 4:31, 32 NLT)
But now is the time to get rid of anger, rage, malicious behaviour, slander, and dirty language. (Colossians 3:8 NLT)Do not say what you will later regret. It can be used against you later.
Speak when you are calm and some people can walk out of the house briefly and return later but it is better to pray before walking out as it could be disastrous. The other party might say you walked out on them and misunderstand your intentions. Please do not drive out of the house in anger. You could end up going to the wrong place when your mind isn't coordinated and some people have ended up driving into accidents because of the anger and a mind not thinking right.
Better be clear about why you are angry. That is why we sometimes over react.
Be very analytic about why you are angry.
Potential Sources of anger in marriage
Potential Sources of anger in marriage
Stress and tension.
Feeling of being taken for granted.
One person never helps at all with family finances.
Unforgiveness Ephesians 4: 32, Col 3: 19, Provs 4: 23
Unforgiveness can be linked to sickness many time.
One person never helps at all with family finances.
Unforgiveness Ephesians 4: 32, Col 3: 19, Provs 4: 23
Unforgiveness can be linked to sickness many time.
Hebrews12: 15 tels us that the root of bitterness can trouble us. I heard someone put it so nicely that when you are bitter against someone, it's like you eating poison and expecting someone-else to die from your own poison that you drank.
Poison only kills those who drink it.
Not letting go of things that have hurt and have been spoken to you.
The blame game and digging old issues.
Watch Third Parties around you
Identify third parties in your life and keep them out.
Sniffers are always out to find out what is happening between couples
Your Pastor is not a third party
Not letting go of things that have hurt and have been spoken to you.
The blame game and digging old issues.
Watch Third Parties around you
Identify third parties in your life and keep them out.
Sniffers are always out to find out what is happening between couples
Your Pastor is not a third party
Jesus is a third party to your marriage!
Let the couple learn to kneel before Jesus and tell Him what hurts.
Watch your family prayer life and devotion to God
Pray without ceasing (1 Thess 5: 17)
Let the couple learn to kneel before Jesus and tell Him what hurts.
Watch your family prayer life and devotion to God
Pray without ceasing (1 Thess 5: 17)
Eph 6: 12 we do not wrestle against flesh and blood but principalities and powers.
Your spouse is not your enemy! The devil is the common enemy
Phil 4: 16 In everything by prayer and supplication let your request be made known unto God and a praying couple will have their feet stable on the path of testing and trials.
Watch out for Private agenda
Marriage in Godly terms is 1+1 = 1
When there is an original hidden agenda from any of the parties, the marriage cannot work and when someone is busy working their hidden agenda, the marriage cannot work.
Watch and never Compare your spouse to another person
But they are only comparing themselves with each other, using themselves as the standard of measurement. How ignorant! (2 Corinthians 10:12 NLT)
‘Not that we dare to classify or compare ourselves
with some of those who are commending themselves. But when they measure
themselves by one another and compare themselves with one another, they are without
understanding’.
About Pastor Marjorie
Reverend Marjorie Esomowei is an ordained minister and co-pastor of Triumphant Church International London England . Marjorie is married to Reverend Clem Esomowei for over 27 years. Reverend Clem Esomowei and Pastor Marjorie both minister together having Apostolic oversight of Churches and outreaches in the United Kingdom, Europe, South Africa and Nigeria. She is also the president and founder of the dynamic WISDOM FOR WOMEN INTERNATIONAL, the founder of the prolific WISE WOMEN AWARDS. And the founder of the COMFORT HOME ORPHANAGE, which is the newest addition to the Wisdom for women family. She operates in her calling as a profound teacher, a prophetic intercessor with proven testimonies abounding through her ministry.
Website: http://www.triumphant.org.uk/
For feature send email to info@funmishittu.com
This woman is not playing at all! She is not even mincing her words. The divorce rate is so sickening. What is really the matter?
ReplyDeleteBeautiful! Thanks mama....beautiful blog, glad I stumbled on this. wow
ReplyDeleteAwesome Post...
ReplyDeleteVery informative and inspiring Funmi well done
ReplyDelete